Monster
by Angelgirl18647
Summary: Mother called me a monster, and now with fire all around me I realize, maybe I am. A Azula POV fic, wrote this in the dead of night and like it. Azula's POV and how she feels about her mother liking Zuko more, better then it sounds its sad 4 Azula! REVIEW


Angel: I thought of this dead last night and I couldn't stop from waking up at 7am and writing it

Nam: -sleeping-

Angel: Sorry, my friend is 3 hours behind me, it's 4am for her. WE OWN NOTHING!

**VERY SLIGHT ( barely there ) SPOILERS ON THE END OF BOILING ROCK AND A PIECE OF THE FINALE TRAILER!**

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_Monster_

Fire surrounds me as I watch in fasnation. It crackles and shallows the air around it as if it was food. The fire is alive and it's begging for more.

_That's why we have firebenders, to tame the flames, father told me._

So why did mother look at me with such distaste whenever I used my gift? Father told Zuko and I that it was because she wasn't a firebender and thus didn't understand. But that didn't explain why when Zuko firebended she looked proud. He was sloppy and couldn't tame the flames he was gifted with. I however was clean, and as father often told me, perfect. I tamed the flames and the power they with held so why wouldn't she look at me?

She sat behind me brushing my hair. It was part of our morning routine. The come to my room every morning after one of the braver maids woke me up and she help me get ready. She come to my room, pick out my clothes have the maids draw my bath and be on my bed waiting for my return with a brush. She's brush my sleek wet hair to whatever style she chose for that day. Today she pulled it back into a clean bun, leaving a few strands in my face. She knew that I hated hair in my face and when I lifted my hand to move it, she grabbed it and pulled it down.

" Leave them, it looks cute on you " she said simply

I huffed but let it go, no used getting worked up over hair. She finished and I jumped off my bed. I turned around to face her and that's when I realized that she didn't want to be here. It was in her eyes, she looked at me with kindness but her eyes underneath the surface there was something else.

_Hate._

" Mother do you hate me?" I asked simply. I had no idea what had brought the question on but now that I said it I had to know, did my own mother hate me? Her face looked shocked that I would ask such a question but she answered anyways.

" Azula of course I don't. You are my daughter and I love you "

Her face gave her away, her smile was too perfect, too forced. It was like she was forcing herself to say that, but why would a mother force herself to say such things?

My thoughts where interruped by the sound of screams coming from outside my door followed by,

" I'm so sorry!"

Leaving mother I walked outside to find Ty Lee outside my door next to a maid who was sitting agaisnt the wall clunching onto her left arm in pain.

" I'm so sorry!" Ty Lee repeated, " I didn't mean to hit you, I was just dancing through the halls when you came out of nowhere and scaried me! Please forgive me!"

" No Miss. Lee It's my fault I shouldn't have scared you " the maid said before getting up and running off

" They're all spineless those maids are. That's why I like them, it's easy to get them to do anything for you " I said looking down at my nails. I felt my mother place her hand on my shoulder and I looked up at her. Her face was expersionless at what I just said and I had no idea why, I was simply stating the truth.

" Azula you must not say things like that about people no matter who they may be. Now go play with your friends " she commanded before leaving my room.

_Probally to find Zuko, I thought._

She always did like him more, it was obvouis and I hated her for it. How dare she pick between her children, mainly seeing how she made the wrong choice! Ty Lee tugged on my shirt knocking me out of my thoughts.

" Come on, Mai and Zuko are outside waiting for us "

I followed her and we played our little games. Before I arrived Zuko ran off with mother and was by the pond playing with the tutleducks. I couldn't help but look at them while I hid from Mai and Ty Lee in the upper branches of a tree. She seemed so happy with him, nothing like when she was with her. She tickled his stomach and Zuko let out a fit of giggles in response, she never did that with me. She was like a completely different person with him, it was like I was a second class citzen or something! Zuko was her first born and would always hold a special place in her heart, but I was her little girl! I should atleast BE in her heart, right?

AZULA! YAY I FOUND AZULA I WIN!

Looking down I saw Ty Lee doing victory kartwheels while Mai stood next to her bored. That girl was always bored, I swear. I climbed out of the tree and turned to see my brother and mother walking away. Ty Lee offered to do a kartwheel contest which Mai declined she sat by her tree in silence. The day pasted and after a cruel prank me and Ty Lee pulled on Mai and Zuko which ended up, which both of them in the fountain, it was time for bed. Mother tucked me in first barely saying anthing other then good night.

She always saved Zuko for last, like a specail treat before she herself went to bed. I pressed my ear against the thin castle walls and listened to the stories mother would tell Zuko.

_She never told, me stories._

Her stories would range from heroes saving the world to villians plunging it into darkness. Her stories offened reminded me of the war father often talked about, was she against the war? I heard Zuko giggle at the story of a large tea drinking man who would sing songs to pass the nights away from his family but mainly his son and nephew.

I heard Zuko begin to snore and I knew that's all the story I would get tonight. I crawled back into my bed and thought of mother's answer to my question this morning.

_Does she truelly hate me?_

I got up and out of bed unable to sleep. I wandered the coridoors in the night when I saw something down the hallway. It looked like a candle. I quickly turned the corner as the light from the small flame grew closer and closer I knew I was caught. Then only a few meters infront of the corner I turned and I heard voices. Two people where behind that flame and they sounded like they where fighting,

" Ozai for once listen to me! You shouldn't push them so hard, mainly Azula, she's a little girl not an adult!"

" She's a princess and must be treated as such "

It was my parents!

" She may be a princess but she's still alittle girl. And you treating her like a grown women isnt' helping anyone, it's only turning her into a monster!"

" You think Azula is a monster?"

" Yes, yes I do. "

I felt my heart drop. She thought I was monster, I ran down the corner needing to be by myself. I ran, I didn't know where I was going but I had to get away. I ran until my legs gave out, right infront of the pond she and Zuko playied infront of. I felt my blood boil at that thought.

_She choose Zuko over me._

I felt the fire boil inside of me, and before I even sensed it a ring of fire had surrounded me. Sleeping turtleducks awoke and began squeeling, I didn't care.

_I am a monster._

I heard screams coming from inside the castle as my mother and father ran out to me. I turned and saw my mother backing away from the flames, in fear.

" ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!? I AM A MONSTER!" I screamed my tears now blocking my vision. I'm sure what happened next one moment I was screaming the next I was in my bed the next morning. There was a bandage around my head which means someone used force to get me back inside. Neither mother or Zuzu would looked at me, they had trances of fear every time they even glanced my way.

_My family was afraid of me._

Father was the only person who accepted me, to him what happened only proved that I could be a master firebending. I rarely saw mother or Zuzu after that as I spend all my time with father practing my gift. To them I was a monster, to him I was perfect. I was his little girl and he gave me the love my mother would never show me, but it wasn't real. Even though I was perfect, I knew deep in my heart he was using me. Using me to have someone to compare Zuko with, someone he could use to push Zuko harder with.

_I was a pawn._

Years past and so did mother. The night before she dissapeared however something happened. Mother came to my room and tried to read me a bedtime story. I found it odd, as she never read one to me before. I threw her out of my room and for a second I thought I heard her cry outside my door. I dismissed the thought however, why would she cry over me?

_She didn't even love me._

Later that night a maid brought something to me. It was a scroll, and she said it was from my mother. I threw it ontop of my cabinet and forgot about it. She disappeared the morning after I toyied with Zuko on the subject, without mother he was weaker. It was fun toying with him, he was easy to mess with. It's not like I cared about her mother's disapperence.

_She never even said goodbye._

Time went on and every thing changed. Zuko was banished, I went on a hunt for him and then later brought him home as a hero. It sicken me how father was so open to taking him back, he couldn't ruin my life, not again. So when Zuko ran off with the Avatar, I was glad. Until the Boiling Rock failure that is. My friends beytrayied me!

_They chose Zuko over me, just like mother._

I felt my blood once again boil at the sound of the word. How could I still even call her mother after all this time, she never even loved me! In anger I felt my body reach out and punch my cabinet. That's when the scroll from years past fell from above and hit me square in the head. I looked down at it in anger, every part of me wanted to burn it but a small part told me to read it. I strached off the small sticker used to keep it close and I read the letter below.

_Dear Azula,_

_Azula, I know I haven't been much of a mother to you and I am sorry but I can't stay here any longer. Please know everything I did was to protect you and your brother. Please protect him Azula, he is kind and caring and may need protecting. Azula you are strong and sharp-witted and I know you can protect him. Please Azula you must read this the moment you get this or I know all my efforts will be in vain. Stay away from your father and stick close to your brother. Azula your not what your father wants you to be. I know that he wants you to be perfect but look inside of you, your just a little girl and I refuse to treat you as any more nor less. I know that somewhere inside of you, your crying out for help but I know that I cannot save you but your brother may be able to. Please don't hate me for my descion, I know that your brother will be able to help you. He is good and somewhere you are too. So hate me if you want but listen to me. _

_Love,_

_Your Mother, Ursa_

I ripped the letter into millions of pieces. I could tell that it took her mother sometime to write seeing how there where rips and small tears in the paper as if she was drilling the brush onto the sheet thinking of the right words to say. How dare her mother write something like this to her.

_She thinks that she knows me._

Well she didn't! I am a prodity, the work of years of planning, the apple of father's eye and I was perfect! So why was it, that when Mai and Ty Lee acted against me...

_Why did I feel so broken?_

I looked at the full length mirror and saw something that mad sick to my stomach.

My mother.

" MOTHER!?"

It was gone, the reflection turned back to normal but to my shock little changed. Father once told me during training that I looked like my mother, but I thought it was an insult to make me train harder. Now I knew it was true, I really did look like her and that angered me to no end. I didn't even noticed the tears on my face. I grabbed the brush that mother oftened used to brush my hair with and threw it at the mirror. The glass shattered and fell to the floor. Along with the falling glass, I to fell. Pieces of glass stabbed into my hands and the blood soiled my carpet, but I didn't care.

Fourteen and half years of cruelity, loyality to the crown and trying to be perfect shattered with that mirror.

The thought back to what her had written in that letter and she was on her hands and knees crying.How is it that someone who didn't even love her enought to say a proper goodbye, know her so well? Her whole life has been nothing but lies.

_That's why we have firebenders, to tame the flames, father told me._

_Hate._

_Probally to find Zuko, I thought._

_She never told, me stories._

_Does she truelly hate me?_

_She choose Zuko over me_

_I am a monster._

_My family is afraid of me._

_I was a pawn._

_She didn't even love me._

_She never even said goodbye._

_They chose Zuko over me, just like mother._

_She thinks that she knows me._

_Why did I feel so broken?_

My sobs went unheard by the maids of the castle, and even the few that did hear were to afraid to say anything. They walked by as if nothing was wrong, leaving the princess to her tears. No one offered to help the fallen girl, there was no one to mother her. Even if I was a Fire Nation princess and a firebending prodity I was still just a teenage girl. My mother was the only person who treated her like that.

I needed someone to hold me someone to tell me it would be alright. Like mother used to do with Zuko.

" Is a mother's love to much to ask for?" I asked before crying myself to sleep

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Angel: Wow, this took all day to write. **BUT I USED MY FAVORITE SCENE IN THE TRAILER! THAT ONE PART WHERE SHE'S CRYING AND THROWS THE COMB AT THE MIRROR OF HER MOM!** I want to know how that happened! So I created what I think happened.

Nam: -awake- YAY IT'S 11!

Angel: AND 2 PM HERE!

Nam: -yawns- I'm going back to sleep - falls onto MY bed-

Angel: OH COME ON! CAN'T YOU ATLEAST SAY AWAKE UNTIL THE END OF THE END NOTE!?

Nam: -out cold-

Angel: Damn your fast, oh well, REVIEW!


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